Bittersweet moment

Today, I opened my mother's gift to me, which my sister's insisted upon, it is my mother's stash of sewing materials, laces, fittings, beads, ribbons, threads, and trimmings. The first small box is just bits of lace and trim, some thread. The second box, which is larger is so many are pieces of four, a planned project for myself and my sisters which was never assembled. And now looking at the bits and pieces I can only guess what her plans were. Mom's choice of colors, textures, and trimmings always delighted, and it is a joy to touch the pieces of fabric she handled.

In 2009 we cleaned out the house, auctioned the contents, and moved my parents to an assisted living facility. This last week, my Dad made the decision that he and Mom should move into the full time care unit at their residence. I was home in October as Dad was hospitalized, I spent the nights with my Mom in her apartment, but she did not know who I was, even after Dad patiently explained who I was. I know when I call, she maybe unwilling to talk to me, but there are moments when we do talk. If I talk of my family she is confused, but if I share about sewing or working in the yard we usually have a good conversation. I appreciate my two younger sisters who live closer to Mom and Dad, and Mom still recognizes them, but for myself and my older sister it is a hurtful sweet wound, knowing Mom does not recognize us. But I have this wonderful treasure of years of collecting which I will endeavor to use her eye and sense of style to complete the projects she carefully collected.

While I learned to sew in school, my Mom always had me choose material and patterns, I did the cutting, she did the sewing. I anticipate and have moments of high anxiety as I sit at the sewing machine. I just finished sewing liner bags for my husband's motorcycle, for his summer trip and I am about to start on a simple project for my daughter - a summer blouse... but Anilia"s blouse calls for 1 and 1/2 yards...and I think I may be challenged to find any pieces that large.